Dealing with Rejection in Ministry

A few years ago I received a call from a couple who attend the small group that I lead. They asked to speak with me about some things they felt the Lord had placed on their heart regarding our small group of which they had been a part since its inception. Of course I was happy to oblige and had them over for coffee. Our conversation began politely at first but quickly began to deteriorate into what I felt were personal attacks against me, my children and the way I went about performing the ministry in which I served. What was this all about? Why were they criticizing me so harshly? We spoke for several hours that evening. During our conversation I felt a mixture of anger and hurt sweeping over me in varying levels of intensity. I tried my best to explain my reasons and motives for leading the group the way I did, but it all seemed so futile……

We all get rejected or criticized at different times in our lives and ministry. Oftentimes rejection triggers intense memories of pains that we have experienced in our past and not dealt with. I would like to share with you what I have learned about dealing with rejection from God’s Word and hopefully it will help you. Please feel free to share this article with anyone whom you feel may benefit from it.

Servant is not greater than his Lord- The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household? (Matthew 10:24-25)

Remember, our Lord was rejected ridiculed and scorned.  He was criticized. How much more should we expect to be criticized? The difference between him and us is that he was without fault. If we are honest before God we will be able to find some fault in ourselves that we need to repent of. Through the life of Jesus we find an example of how to deal with rejection and criticism.

Remember to be thankful- “At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes. Even so, Father: for so it seemed good in thy sight” (Matthew 11:25-26) In the preceding verses Jesus was speaking about the cities of Chorazin, Bethsaida and Capernaum, cities which had rejected his ministry. He set the example of showing gratitude by saying I thank you Father for this rejection. Jesus did not feel sorry for himself because his ministry was rejected. He thanked his Father because the Father had ordained this rejection. He thanked the Father because he knew that the Father would reveal his truth unto babes. In other words he was saying “Father I know you will raise up hungry hearts who will receive the message from you” When you are rejected or criticized just remember that God will raise up hungry souls who will receive the particular ministry that God has ordained for you to perform. Begin to thank Him in advance for those hungry souls that He will send.

Remember that your heavenly Father is working through the situation- “And therefore did the Jews persecute Jesus, and sought to slay him, because he had done these things on the sabbath day. But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work”. (John 5:16-17) In this verse Jesus was being persecuted by the Jews. Notice again that Jesus did not cry or despair because his ministry was once again rejected. Rather He acknowledged that His Father was working in the midst of the situation. We too should remember that when we are criticized or rejected that our Father is working in the situation for our highest good and for His glory. He will bring good out of the pain. He is working to refine us and to make us better and more effective in our calling through the criticism or rejection.

Remember that your heavenly Father loves you – For the Father loveth the Son, and sheweth him all things that himself doeth: and he will shew him greater works than these, that ye may marvel. (John 5:20) Jesus unequivocally stated in the midst of rejection that he knew that his Father loved him. When we are rejected sometimes we feel as though no one loves us. Sometimes it seems exactly that way. However we should never lose our awareness that in the midst of rejection our Father loves us and that he is working all things for our good according to Romans 8:28.

 Remember that rejection is part of God’s plan- “And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he spake that saying openly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him. But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.” (Mark 8:31-33) In these verses Jesus began to teach his disciples how that he would be rejected and ultimately killed. Peter did not understand how this could be a part of God’s plan and began to rebuke Jesus. Jesus told Peter in so many words “You are going against God’s plan. This rejection and suffering is part of my Father’s plan for me.” We too should always bear in mind that when we are rejected or criticized that it is part of God’s plan for us as well. We have a choice in the situation as to whether we will take the rejection and allow it to make us better or will we become and choose to be bitter. Better or bitter that is our choice.

After my meeting with the couple from our small group I went to my study to complain before God, to lick my wounds, and to wallow in self pity. “How could they be so cruel?” I still feel that many of the things they said to me were out of line, and were said just to hurt me. I was angry. Perhaps they should have studied on how to confront church leadership on sensitive issues before coming to me. I wanted to lash out. I considered going to my pastor and resigning. I opened my Bible and said “Lord speak to me from your Word” The Lord led me to two scriptures. I Peter 3:13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? And Proverbs 16:7 When a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. The message was pretty clear. I was hurt because my pride had been offended. I had unconsciously taken ownership of the group and thought that this was “my ministry”. In honesty I had to recognize that some of their criticisms were justified and that I had let the success God had given me in the small group ministry go to my head. I repented of my pride and arrogance that night and asked God to help me to make amends. Today I am still leading that small group as well as shepherding two others which have grown out of our original group. Thank God I was able to listen to that rebuke and hear what God was saying to me through my precious friends. Today, because I listened, I am better instead of bitter.

Read more: Dealing with Rejection in Ministry
Zohar Flock Seeking the Light